


Broken

by eclipsedheart



Category: Castle Rock (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:42:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22028758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipsedheart/pseuds/eclipsedheart
Summary: The initial accident is a bit worse, and we go from there. F/F implications, may turn into something if story keeps going. As for warnings... if you can handle the show, you can handle the fic.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, at first I just thought about the pairing because Nadia was sweet and Annie was alone, but not seriously seeing it as Annie was so obsessed with (straight) romance novels. Then I figured, that about the time of Misery at least, she was obsessed with the female lead, so maybe it wasn't such a big stretch after all. 
> 
> Also, I'm a fangirl myself. I know that the characters you're most into are the ones you have the crush on. Duh.

* * *

The doctor’s palm was cool against her hot brow, and Annie liked that. It felt nice. Almost like in those romance novels she liked to read or listen to, where a scene like this usually ended with kissing. Or more.

But Annie wasn’t in shape to entertain thoughts about kissing, no matter how briefly they’d crossed her mind. Besides, the doctor was a woman. If she fantasised about kissing her, that would mean that she was… like _that_. And she wasn’t. Absolutely not.

 _Really, Annie-bear? But you’re not_ really _reading those romance novels for the men, are you? You’re reading them for the women, because that’s the only ‘safe’ way you know to combine romance and women. You fall in love with the all heroines and you wish you were the man sweeping them off their feet. Dirty words. Dirty books. Dirty_ girls _._

“Is she going to be okay?”

At the sound of her daughter’s voice, Annie fought her way through the floating nature of semi-consciousness to full consciousness, reaching blindly for the girl’s hand. Joy took hers, and held it firmly.

“Little love,” Annie managed to say, forcing the words out between cracked lips. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Just a scratch. I cut one of my hands climbing through the window,” Joy said. The words felt like a stab to Annie, buried memories resurfacing from when she was Joy’s age. A broken car window, a car window that at first she _couldn’t_ break despite all her panicked strength, and then it just imploded in a million brilliant shards, and…

“Nine stitches,” the doctor said. “That’s a bit more than just a scratch, Joy, but it’s going to heal fine.” She took out her stethoscope. “I’m more concerned about your mom. Could you wait outside?”

“Sure,” Joy said, squeezing Annie’s hand with her unharmed one, one last time before letting go. "I love you, mom. I'll see you soon." 

Then she vanished out the door like she hadn’t been there at all.

A tear ran down Annie’s cheek as she leaned her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes.

“Was she really here?” she asked.

“What?” Nadia said.

“Joy. My little girl. Was she here?”

“She was. I think you might have a concussion, but…”

“No, it’s not that. I’m not right,” Annie said, gesturing to her head, without opening her eyes. “In here. I’ve got things in my mind. People. Memories. Things I see.”

“Hallucinations. You’re talking about hallucinations, Anne?” Nadia sounded more concerned now. “How long have you had them? Since before the accident?”

“Most of my life.” 

“Your daughter didn’t mention any medications…”

“I can’t. I’m a registered nurse, I couldn’t get jobs if I were on those kinds of medications.” Her breath caught in her throat and she realeased it in a shaky sigh.

Nadia sighed as well.

“So you’re stealing them. Aren’t you? All hospitals in Maine were recently warned that there is a temp rn stealing drugs from the pharma storages, and that’s not all that uncommon, but the funny thing about this one was that she wasn’t stealing Oxy or Fentanyl or even Valium, but antipsychotics.”

Annie thought about trying to come up with a lie, but the painkillers in her system –legally administered – made it difficult to think. Very difficult to lie. And fighting wasn’t even up for consideration; even through the drugs she felt the pain, dull in some places, sharp in others, and she didn’t think her body was in shape to fight. If Joy’s life had been on the line, yes. She would die killing whoever tried to get to her daughter. But Joy seemed well taken care of and in no trouble herself.

 _Maybe this is where it ends_ , she thought weakly, looking up at the white ceiling.

 _You knew all along it would end, Annie-bear. You knew it the moment you ran. You were surprised you made it through the first day. And the second. And all of a sudden you had been on the run a year, two, a decade. Lulled into false security by the routine of it all, weren’t you? Fifteen years, that’s impressive, especially in today’s Big Brother climate, but you knew it would end. Maybe it’s a grace that it ended now, because how much longer do you think Joy would have chosen to stay? She thinks you don’t notice those longing glances she sends after kids her age, but you do, and it breaks your heart that you can’t give it to her, just like it broke your heart when she was little and wanted the moon and you couldn’t give it to her. And at the same time it scares you to death because when she leaves you, you’re done. She_ gave _you these years, these good years, and you know you don’t deserve them. Joy was the one sliver of heaven that you got in life, and you’d better be grateful for that, because you don’t deserve it. When Joy turns her back on you, you have three choices. You can kill her. You can kill her and then yourself. Or you can be content with killing yourself. And the moment you started writing this story, Annie-bear, we all knew the ending. You’re going to kill her. Because you can’t handle rejection._

 _I wouldn’t kill her. No. Never. I’ve never hurt her. I never even_ thought _about hurting her._

_You can’t handle being rejected._

_I can learn._

_No, Annie. You will never learn._

“Anne,” Nadia said. “Don’t blank out on me.”

Annie started sobbing. Not really helping her case, but she was exhausted, she was scared, and she had never been very good at holding back emotions.

“I need help,” she managed to get out between sobs, “but if I accept it, I’ll never see Joy again. I’ll never see my little girl again.” Then she turned her face into the pillow and cried.

Nadia considered for a while, then reached a decision. It wasn’t one that came from sticking to the rules, but rather one from Pop’s book.

“The meds you have been stealing. Did they work?”

Annie nodded, face still hidden into the pillow.

“How long since your last dose?”

“A week.”

Nadia winced. Not good.

“Which meds and which doses?”

Annie stopped sobbing for a moment, looked up at Nadia, tears and snot streaming down her face.

“What?”

“Which meds, which doses?”

“Risperdal, Haldol, Lithium. 40, 20, 10.”

“Okay,” Nadia said with a sigh. “I’ll get you what you need, and then we’ll discuss what to do next.”

“Do you mean that?”

Nadia gave her a loop-sided smile, one that would have looked cynical if the look in her eyes wasn’t so gentle.

“You’re a nurse, you know the protocol; first do no harm.”

Annie smiled at her, despite the tears still running down her face, and for a moment, it felt like things might be alright.

Then she shifted position a little, and the searing, breath-stealing pain in her back and her ribs told her that nothing was going to be that simple.


End file.
